15 Ways to Start a Successful Conversation on Tinder

We are indeed in the era of online dating! And instead of reciting poetry like ol’ Romeo and Juliet, or coming up with catchy pick-up lines to spew at someone you’ve got your eye on at the bar, there’s a new way to chat-up and meet people… Tinder!

For singletons worldwide, Tinder has been a trusted source for friendship, one night stands, ongoing sexual trysts, and sometimes even romantic relationships.

And jumping on the Tinder Train, while daunting at first, has actually proven to be really successful for those seeking… whatever they’re seeking.

But just like a first impression (fun fact: it takes someone a mere six seconds to know whether they like you or not), Tinder conversation starters are actually super important.

After all, the way in which you approach someone can make or break an entire experience. By using boring or generic Tinder conversation starters, you could be missing your chance at finding ‘the one’… isn’t that tragic?

So, what are some great Tinder conversation starters, you ask? That’s a good question and one that we aim to answer here today.

Grab your pen and paper or make a mental note because soon, you’ll be coming up with intriguing and eye-catching Tinder conversation starters like a pro, putting you one step ahead in winning the game that is Tinder. Yay, you!

Tinder conversation on mobile screen

Ace Your First Message on Tinder

So, as a means to help you on your Tinder quest, we’ve compiled a super helpful guide for all things Tinder-related.

Today, you’ll learn:

  • 10 different techniques to sending the perfect first message on Tinder
  • 5 real-life examples on how to send a great first message on Tinder

Let’s dive right in, shall we?

10 Ways to Send The Perfect First Message on Tinder

1. Swipe Right!

You may think that this is the fun part, but in actuality, the fun is still yet to begin. It is, however, the easiest part! Take your time, and swipe right on the Tinder profiles that you are drawn to.

Whatever your motive on Tinder, try to avoid swiping right on every profile. After a time, it can start to become very tedious and monotonous.

2. Read Your Match’s Profile Before Your Tinder Conversation

Read Match's Profile as a Conversation Starter
Read Match’s Profile as a Conversation Starter

Again, whether you’re looking for a one-time thing, friends, or something more… read your match’s profile! One of the worst things when it comes to the first few messages on Tinder is when a match asks you questions that are already answered on your profile.

Not only that but if there is a bio, it’ll give you more insight into the person you’ve matched with, thus giving you the opportunity to customise your first Tinder message.

For example, you’ve found someone you’re crushing on hard and their Tinder bio says that they’re a complete animal lover, you’ve basically got golden ammo to use for your first Tinder message.

Say something about the pets that you have, ask them what their favorite animal is, comment on one of their photos where they’re posing alongside an animal, or even dive right in by asking for a date at the duck pond or local zoo.

3. Use Your Tinder Match’s Name in Your First Tinder Message

People like to feel special, which is why we each have a name that’s unique and meaningful. And when you use your match’s name in your first Tinder message, you’re showing that you’ve paid a bit of attention to their profile.

The cherry on the cake for those chatting to women? Scientists have found that when you use a girls name, it actually activates several parts of her brain.

4. Use Language That Evokes Positive Emotions

How to use Emotions - Screenshot of the Conversation
How to use Emotions

When you’ve received five messages in a row with a simple, “Hello!” it starts to get pretty boring. Which is why using language that evokes a positive emotion is the perfect way to stand out from the crowd.

The desired emotion could either be:

  • Excitement, by giving them a compliment (try to avoid comments on their looks, as it may come across as ingenuine).
  • Happiness, by making them laugh and showing that you have a humorous and fun side.
  • Shock or surprise, by either playfully teasing them, or surprising them with something that you two may have in common.

For example, if you’d like to create excitement, you could comment on how adorable their dog is (if applicable, of course), tell them that you think they look like a really fun person to hang out with or mention that they appear to be a genuine and kind person that you’d like to get to know.

In terms of happiness and laughter, if your match has a picture of themselves surfing, you could mention a story of how you tried surfing once while on vacation in Hawaii and managed to fall flat on your behind, which was a total embarrassment for you in front of all of your friends.

For the shock factor that may make them laugh, if they have a photo of themselves drinking a cocktail or a beer, you could say something like “If you don’t look like your photos, you’re buying the drinks until you do!”

It’s all about ‘reading the room’ and gauging what Tinder conversation starter would work best.

5. Message Them First

There’s no point beating around the bush, and you know—nothing happens if nothing happens. For that reason, send your match a message first if they haven’t done so yet.

This shows confidence and genuine interest, and they may just be happy you did (they swiped right on you for a reason!).

6. Be Unique

Just as we mentioned saying a mere, “Hey!” is pretty boring, you can use your first Tinder message as your golden opportunity to be unique. In this way, you’re proving that you’re not just sending the same message to everyone and that you’ve taken an interest in this person.

Say something that will stand out as opposed to the millions of greetings that go unanswered in the Tinder universe. This will definitely be more meaningful than any form of a generic greeting.

7. Use GIFS

It seems ingenuine but in actuality, there is something quite entertaining about receiving a gif… especially when it pertains to something that the receiver likes or finds cute or hilarious.

Even a simple “Hello” gif is 10 times more effective than typing the word!

In fact, research shows that gifs are 30 percent more likely to receive a response than a regular Tinder conversation starter.

8. Ask a Question

Ask a Question To Your Match - Two Truths and a Lie
Ask a Question To Your Match – Two Truths and a Lie

Ask an interesting question that will, like we said, evoke an emotion. For example, you could play a game of two truths and a lie. Or, you could ask them something with various options to choose from.

For example, if they’ve shown an interest in horror films, you could ask:

What do you think is the best horror film of all time?

  1. The Exorcist
  2. The Shining
  3. Scream
  4. Nightmare on Elm Street
  5. The Blair Witch Project

9. Be Age-Appropriate

Talking with someone who is in their mid 20’s is completely different to talking to someone in their mid 30’s. And while you could risk it, the chances of hitting the right spot with the same line on all matches, are probably low. Make sure to know your audience.

And for those who’re stumped, here’s a little cheat sheet compiled after analyzing various conversations:

  • 18 – 23 years olds prefer novelty, which means that being creative and using out-of-the-box thinking will score you brownie points.
  • 24 – 28 year olds prefer talking about lifestyle topics, like cool brunch spots or travel adventures.
  • 29 – 34 year olds prefer chatting on a more personal level, so asking questions about them will work in your favor.
  • 35 + year olds prefer conversations about pop culture, so let rip your best celebrity news and you’ll be good.

10. If All Else Fails, Believe in Second Chances

How to deal with rejection on Tinder Conversation
How to deal with rejection on Tinder Conversation

Perhaps you’ve followed some or all of the advice above, but that little fishy has yet to bite. It happens. So if that’s your reality, your last chance is to believe in the power of second chances. That is, to go back and send another message.

For example, if you’ve mentioned something about how fun their skiing trip must have been in your first message, and they haven’t responded, you can go back a few days later and say something like, “I guess it wasn’t so fun then, huh?” with a laughing emoji. In this way, you may be able to salvage the chat.

So, now that you know about these 10 ways to send the perfect first message on Tinder, here’s a complementary cheat sheet of five great first message examples to give you an extra boost!

5 Examples of a Great First Message on Tinder

  • They are skiing in one of their photos, and you love snow, winter… or anything else associated with skiing, tell them. If you have a funny skiing story, or if you’re interested in learning how to ski, say so.
  • If they’re from a different city or country, and you’ve visited or want to visit, tell them. Try to say something special about that specific country or city, or something that you’ve enjoyed doing there.
  • They have their Spotify music linked to their Tinder profile and you share the same taste in music, say so. Music definitely brings people together.
  • They display any form of hobby or interest on their profile, ask about it.
  • They have an interesting or the same job as you, mention it.
Great first message on Tinder about Spotify - Conversation Stater
Great first message on Tinder about Spotify – Conversation Stater

So, are you ready to ace your first message on Tinder? After all, starting a conversation on Tinder is way less intimidating than most face-to-face interactions!

Go forth, be confident, and win over the heart of your favorite Tinder match!