Tinder is the most sought after site to get quick fixes for a one night stand, a weekend crush, quick sex, money for sexual favors and just passing the time with various different interested parties.
At least, this is what most people believe.
Most of these Tinder users are seemingly not married and are assumed to be the very young and very attractive people, usually between the ages of 18-35 as trends show on the Tinder dating app.
However, yes, you can be on Tinder if married since young people have been overrated on Tinder and actually, they are in part looking for married people due to the experience and maturity that a married person promises to offer.
Furthermore, she talks of the fact that, not all married people are old, grumpy and boring, some are actually very young at heart.
The married are assured that Tinder has a lot to offer even to them and they should have confidence in the app.
In this article, you will learn these tips as a married person and how you can get the best experience on Tinder:
- 1. What your profile photos on Tinder should look like
- 2. How to have an indulging bio
- 3. How to have a good conversation game on Tinder
- 4. How to answer questions of whether you are married and what you want from Tinder.
- 5. How to get a match despite being a gay, lesbian or bisexual married person.
- 6. What to do when you don’t remember how to be cool and young.
- 7. The best way to handle the pretenders on Tinder who just want your cash.
- 8. Selecting the right match to meet face to face if married
- 9. How to win matches even though you grew fat
- 10. The fails to avoid when playing Tinder as a married partner
42% of people on Tinder are already seeing someone and the married need not feel guilty to be a part of it.
He also goes further to state that, 62% are male and 38% female. Shocking discoveries there, don’t you think?
And I thought that my cat chasing a dog up a tree was incredible. The way that dog is huge.
My good friend, Valentin Alexiyevich, 31 from Sochi City, Russia did not mind to share with me his experience on Tinder as a married man.
He suspected that his wife was cheating on him about the year 2018.
Being an impulsive man, he also decided to cheat on her for revenge and therefore joined Tinder.
They recently moved to Nairobi, Kenya where after Valentin’s many right and left swipes on Tinder, finally found a couple of matches that would satisfy his needs, even though married.
In this article, I borrow a lot from his experience and add to known knowledge on how to make the most out of Tinder as a married person.
1. What your Married Man/Woman Profile Photos on Tinder Should Look Like
Honestly, your profile photo is what one notices first. So we must touch on that.
It is important to note that,that looks aren’t everything and what matters is whether the potential match will swipe left or right on you.
This confidence does not however mean that your profile photo should be dumb and just unattractive.
She talks of adding some actions such as bowling or Chess playing to your photo in order to help a match see your interests more than your face.
See like Adam here.
My friend Valentin went with a similar look, one that is sporty, loves to keep in shape and just a simple guy who loves life.
P.S: My friend Valentin is not exactly of the athletic body type, he just made his body to look so in the photo.
Yes, Russians too can be cool. Valentin went further to add a cap that showed he enjoyed playing tennis.
However, he did not wear it so as to not cover his face but just carried it by his side, making sure that the front part was visible enough to show the crossed tennis rackets logo.
There is another angle that is touched on which is very interesting, that is, wearing shades.
For the married man, it makes you look youthful and still full of vigor. It also makes you seem important and an achiever who is now relaxed and enjoying his success.
By the matches Valentin got, I say that this is a pretty awesome idea!
Valentin prefered women who wore dresses that were a bit showy.
To him, they showed that one had not forgoten how to turn a man on.
Therefore, he did not pay much attention to the women’s faces as he did to their chests and legs. Especially those legs!
Bella is simply hot enough to make you drop that potato salad all over your laptop while reading this.
Please, be careful. One thing at a time. May be you should read this first and eat later.
If Bella told you that she has been married twice and has four kids, you would not believe her. Right?
In my previous article, Bumble Profiler Tips, sub-theme 3, I gave some points on what you should consider when uploading your profile photo.
Among the five points that I gave, I also included that, your photos should have your face looking up straight or have enough lighting to capture you properly.
Take a look at this photo by Ruth below:
She not only has her full face well captured, but also the lighting is good and she is in the photo alone.
That was one of the most important things that Valentin considered in her potential matches, whether they were confidently featured in their photos and appeared alone.
He ignored women that came in twos or threes as they confused him on who the real match was as some were never honest with the photos.
To sum up, allow me to recap from my previous article on Tinder Profiler Tips. Your profile photos must be:
- Very visible with enough lighting.
- Only showing you.
- Very recent.
- Decent with no insults and rude behavior.
You should be facing straight up and try to smile or look approachable.
2. Your Best and Cranky Bio that Present You as Still in Touch with Lovey-Dovey
Since you are married, what do you think you should say in your bio?
Hey, I am married and I want you to be my mistress.
Well, believe it or not, you will get some matches that love such arrangements but, that is not the best way to get matches on Tinder as a married person.
Doing that is just like playing with a wild lion the same way that you would with a domestic cat when it is hungry and not expect it to do anything to you.
There is a fact that, one’s bio should speak of who they are and what they want in order to attract the right audience.
This is to make sure that you get the right matches coming your way.
My friend Valentin wouldn’t agree more.
His hunting ground favorite was the kind of woman that was a bit sharp and also not stingy with intimacy.
Take the bio above of one Kris who is 31.
Such a woman drove Valentin crazy.
She promised to be sharp and also looking for fun.
As Valentin used to tell me, it was like being able to take tea and beer at the same timeand still work.
It hardly happens but it would be an interesting feat to achieve.
Crazy Russian my friend is.
Also to note is that, one’s profile need not be so complex making it hard for potential matches to understand you.
Hey, did you know that in another life we could all be cats and not humans?
My Russian pal appreciated someone that was not uptight and very professional in their bio.
This to him made it easy for him to approach them and even set up a face to face meeting.
He did not want to have to worry about explaining why a married man was looking for women on Tinder.
So, the less uptight the woman was, the better for him.
Nice, simple, sweet and funny, is the other point that is emphasizedon bios.
She is of the opinion that especially for married parties, try not to seem so old and out of shape. Be exciting in your bio.
Valentin spoke in parables and was not always so direct.
Look at a sample of his bio above. Crime here referred to his marriage and babies and dogs referred to the other women that would be nicer to him compared to his wife.
He did everything that Katie Dupere suggested.
He was simple, fun and exciting. One would not even know that he was a married man.
Nothing like, hey, I have three kids and hate my marriage because my wife is not hot enough.
I had the privilege of seeing Valentin’s favorite’s catch bio.
She wasn’t what I expected. Look at the bio above.
The line that caught Valentine’s eye was, “I’m so easy with people”.
As I mentioned earlier, Valentin hated explaining why a married man was on Tinder and therefore, he boarded the bus of such women that came in as open minded and not judgmental.
This is the other addition to watch out for, that the bio for the married should be very open minded and welcoming.
To sum it up, this is what Farfields and Katie have said on bios for the married:
- Speak of who you are and what you want.
- Not so uptight and professional. Loosen up a bit.
- Nice, simple, sweet and funny.
- Open minded and welcoming.
- I could also add, be a bit mysterious and refer to things indirectly. For example, a pie for a sweet woman. “I want a sweet pie from here”.
3. You Tinder Conversation Game that helps you Attract a Phone Number
In my earlier article, Tinder Openers, I dedicated the whole article towards teaching you how to broach a conversation with a total stranger that you just matched with.
Basically all of it is applicable here for the married person. Look at this simple opening that Valentin gave a match.
From the conversation above between Valentin and his match, the lady easily responded to his intro.
It touched on her looks and seemingly interesting personality.
Valentin can be quite the charmer.
Dating authors points out that it is important to be charming and fascinating in a conversation with a match.
You may not have much to say because being married has denied you opportunities to socialize with others except your spouse.
So, the least that you can do is to just be charming.
The best way to engage a conversation as a married person is to be straight forward with what you want.
Don’t beat around the bush so much. At least, this is a popular belief.
This helps you save time and not hope for things that are not coming.
See this Tinder conversation between Valentin and a match.
This particular one wanted what Valentin wanted, that was to get laid.
How easy was that for Valentin?
It was not because he is very handsome and from Russia, it was because he stated what he wanted and without the fear of rejection.
Most men fear talking to women on what they really want because they fear being rejected, or seems to think women on Tinder.
As a married party, you cannot afford to fear rejection, you are already sinning going behind your spouse on Tinder.
What is the worst that you could do?
I don’t know, ever try to steal the White House and give it as a present to your wife?
You could be the character that missed from the movie, Olympus Has Fallen.
Valentin is always talking like he is telling a story and he keeps on asking you questions just to make sure that you stay with him.
Look at his conversation here with his match.
He is already setting up a meeting and taking charge.
Of course, when you set up a meeting and ask questions about where one lives, the next thing you know will be an exchange of numbers to make the meet happen.
Keep your match engaged and don’t fear rejection. This is a means to benefit the most out of Tinder as a married partner.
What matters is that you find out whether a match wants what you do and you must really watch out for your own well being as a married person.
Ever seen people whose talk was just so natural that nothing could ever go wrong with it?
It is as if the governments of the world finally did what the citizens voted them in for.
What a beautiful world that would be.
Valentin is not one to shy away from crazy talk.
He says just about anything that comes to his mind.
Here he flirts with a word not in the dictionary.
He then appears awkward, safely silly and just interesting, as this approach is one sure to get a reply.
To sum the conversations part up, remember to:
- Be charming.
- Be straight forward with what you want.
- Be interested and ask questions to keep the match engaged.
- Be a little awkward so that you seem like you have loosened up a bit.
See, being married doesn’t mean that you cannot have game.
It all depends on whether you come out open minded, inwardly attractive, worth somebody’s time and of course, interesting.
4. How to Answer Questions of, “Are you Married?“
When you have already joined Tinder, you do not want to always be ambushed by the question asking whether you are married or what happened to your wife/husband.
You expect the conversations to be very straight, clear and satisfactory to your experience.
Even if all one wants is a quick one night stand, you just expect them to be forthcoming with it.
See this profile and bio.
This profile above shows that, there is a contention in the marriage and therefore, the stuffs that the married person is looking for under the profile picture are justified to them.
Notice how straight forward the message is, no need to beat around the bush.
The next thing that you could do is just be daring and ask them to come see for themselves.
This has the effect of turning on a match as they get sucked into the excitement of the thought, previous observation shows.
Remember what she suggested about not being too uptight but rather being mysterious.
Valentin was always countering these questions with replies that made the match want to meet him just for coffee and that innocent coffee would quickly turn out to be something else.
That was how he got laid through a well-placed reply to whether he was married.
He asked for a coffee date as a motivation to reveal the answer.
Uh? Nice and enticing reply on the conversation above don’t you think?
Lead someone into having some drinks or coffee like my friend Valentin.
If at all one is of the school that supports using the sarcastic approach which comes out as funny, a bit awkward and interesting.
Notice the conversation above just given.
You can also see this one below.
This has got to be one of the most sarcastic replies that I have ever seen. I don’t even know how the conversation quickly flew into sex.
It just did and ended up well.
Valentin would ask a similar question and hope for an insult but, the matches just liked his sarcasm.
It was harmless and well-intended. Of course, the reaction of the match was purely based on their sense of humor.
I agree with it, sarcasm works well for the married person on Tinder.
Remember, mean no harm with it.
To sum up the above. When asked questions of whether you are married, you should:
- Have a bio that states clearly whether you are or not. Saves you the trouble.
- Be a bit daring and ask someone to find out themselves through meeting you.
- Be sarcastically interesting.
5. The Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual Maneuver to successfully Hook a Match
Yes, the married are not always straight.
Some are gay, lesbian, transgender or any other.
Valentin is a bisexual and appreciates both flavors of sexes, men and women alike.
That is why I had to include this sub-topic.
What would a married gay or lesbian and any other have to do to hook a match up on Tinder?
Well, I have an idea,
Get a giant ray gun and make everybody gay!
Problem solved right?
No, let us be realistic here.
Relationships partners who also happens to be lesbian and proud of it say that, the married gay should take advantage of the matches that approach them as some may be bisexual.
It is assumed that a majority of your matches on Tinder will be straight but, others have a very open mind and may be bisexual.
Looking at my friend Valentin who is married to a woman, I would say that, this assumption is right.
He was actively looking for the straight matches but got several that were gay and therefore, he had to improvise.
He ended up accepting a threesome arrangement that made him benefit double from his match and her wife or husband.
Experience with lesbian dating, argues that, lesbians are more likely to be successful on Tinder looking for threesomes rather than another lesbian.
You must be open minded. It does not matter that you don’t like guys, neither does it matter that as a gay you don’t like women.
Allow him/her to bring a friend and you can have the friend while he has your friend too.
What do you think?
At the end of the day, you may kiss a man but get laid by his sweet friend who is a woman.
Lesbians on Tinder agree with the above authors and adds that, the not-straight must be witty and creative to win matches.
You should not expect too much but keep an open mind.
This reminds me of how much Valentin hoped to find someone that could replace his wife but ended up meeting matches that were as good as only for a one night stand.
Therefore, if you expect too much, you will be disappointed. Take it easy.
The conversation above tries to explain that wittiness to get someone to bring a friend so as to satisfy your need.
Remember, you must be willing to just a little step out of your comfort zone and may be just touch a guy a bit.
To sum up the above, here is what the bisexual, gay, lesbian and others have to do:
- Try to accept the bisexual matches.
- Be witty and ask your match to bring a friend that will satisfy your need.
Step out of your comfort zone and don’t expect too much. Be open minded.
6. What to do When You Don’t Remember How to be Cool/Fun
It is attractive to be boring on Tinder as some slowly discover looking at what most women and men look for when conversing with matches.
This bio is simply plain and cliché. She just wants a quick one to pay her bills. I mean, people lie a bit on what they want.
Yeah, I know that you claim you want a better partner but, what if he already has 20 wives?
You just want to get laid and get paid! When you forget how cool you were in your hey days, there is a popular thought that supports that you, go with what you have.
Hey, you can even be boring. Look at this profile below
So she only talked of her skill in languages, nothing more, even (hk) where she works is hard to understand.
Valentin appreciated this type of match because of two reasons; they hardly asked questions on why a married person was on Tinder and secondly, they were easy to please. They just went with the flow.
You also can be the one being sought out for as suggests, observations on the workings of Tinder on lesbian and dating.
This means that your bio will actually be praising a potential match. Look at the profile below.
This bio praises the potential match’s; outdoor activities, intellect and sophistication.
When a potential match reads through this, he or she will feel like they are the ones that you are talking about and easily give you attention.
Valentin used this trick on several matches even on conversations more than his bio. It made the matches feel important and the ones in control of the meet.
They immediately gave him their attention.
Look at this conversation below where one pretends to not know a good beer joint.
See this profile here where one wants to appear geeky and just not really one of those cool ones out there.
Who wouldn’t feel better than her when she is just so nerdy? That is why she would get more matches on Tinder as a married person.
To sum it all up, if you do not remember how to be cool then:
- Be a bit boring. It makes someone feel confident that they could be cooler than you.
- Just go with the flow. Say whatever gets someone to notice you.
- Let the match take all the credit and you be the damsel in distress.
Hey, just be a nerd, punk, a lost women/man, just some guy. People love meeting up someone who they feel is not too good for them.
7. The Best Way to Handle the Quickie, Booty Call and Just Wants Fun
Not everybody on Tinder is in it for the booty call and some hope for something beyond that.
They therefore get offended when approached for a booty call, including married couples.
It makes sense.
Well, honestly, the best way to deal with anything is to just speak up!If there is a problem, please, just speak up!
Look at this profile below
I love the way she goes straight to the point and lays down her rules!
She may have been married before but she still is not up for quick hookups that will not fulfill her.
The reason why I said that it makes sense that quickies are not what all married people want is because, some are slowly planning to move on and start a new relationship that could lead to a marriage, so says the observation on many a dating app enthusiast.
Therefore, one of the ways to deal with the sex hunters and gold diggers on Tinder is to simply write it clearly on your profile that you want something more than a hookup, a booty call, a quickie and mere fun. If you ask me, this is the best method.
This is the sort of bold advice that, guys on Reddit give after complaining of open booty calls from women.
Do not get me wrong, Tinder is majorly used for quickies but there is always a catch, your cash!
This is what turns guys away from some matches that they get. If at all what you want is sex, please, go ahead and accept that booty call. It is just fine.
However, make sure that you have cash on you and please, protect yourself as someone on the Reddit thread says, it could be a trap to just mug you and you go back home with nothing.
It is possible to find another wife or husband on Tinder because not everyone is there for desperate sex as my friend Valentin Alexiyevich discovered.
He was actually the booty caller, trying to hook up a match.
He was surprised when she turned on him and preferred to get to know someone a bit first.
Therefore, according to Valentin, married people should use the basics of getting together with someone, which include getting to know someone first.
However, if all a married wants is to be laid, then the door has been wide open for you to simply make the kill.
Accept those booty calls and one night stands, only remember to protects yourself from muggers and others.
So, allow me to recap that for you:
- If you don’t want a quickie, just state clearly in your profile.
- If you are interested in just getting laid, go for it.
That is all there is to it.
8. Selecting the Right Match to Meet Face to Face if Married
You will most probably get a lot of matches having following the guides thus far given as a married man or woman.
However, you must always remember that not all your matches will be ready or willing to give you what you really want out of Tinder.
Some will be there for your cash, just a quickie or may even want a long term relationship that may be hard for you to give while married to another.
So, who would be the right match for you?
There are some offers for help. Cory is however not partial in his argument and says that, if you were on Tinder for the quickies, you should know how to best respond to booty calls to get laid.
We have covered these a lot ever since the beginning of this article.
This conversation below demonstrates an instance where sex was not the catch.
Your choice of who is the best match depends on what you really were looking for out of Tinder as a married. For my friend Valentin, it was majorly sex and not a new marriage partner for the future.
Since Tinder is addictive, as says a Medium writer Valentin has not had the courage to delete his account yet.
This conversation below shows that the matches were interested in getting laid
So, here are the things to look at in selecting the right match to meet from Tinder as a married:
- A match that will satisfy your needs. These could be sexual, company or other.
- A match that is understanding and knows that cheating is being justified through your meeting,
- A match that is not all judgmental of your behavior on Tinder.
9. How to Win Matches even though you are Now Fat and a bit Wrinkly
How in the hell do you get matches when you hardly have what women/men want?
Hmm, borrow Rihanna her hot body for a week, may be clone yourself into Matt Damon for a day.
Don’t worry, it really is not that complicated.
At least that is what an emotional turn that can be achieved. .
She is of the thought that, fat people can be cute, funny and just unique.
Therefore, you do not really need to lie about your body type nor your daily routines.
Women are different and they appreciate different things in men, same as men.
She advises to also be creative and not look so much into how fat you grew after being married.
Check out this easy chat below.
Her trick lies in the confidence that you exhume in your bio. You should not even try too hard to lie but make being fat a sweet thing to be.
Her view is supported by the fact that, confidence attracts people more than a pretty face.
Oh, also it is good to remember that,you should style yourself and enjoy being you, that is, wear some make up, brush your hair, shave if it compliments you and be all the fat that you can be.
It is as simple as just being yourself.
Let’s us go back to my Russian friend Valentin.
The picture above shows 62 matches!
Would you believe what he looked like then? He was older with a tummy stretching out his shirt!
Valentin is a genius with words that charm women and definitely grooms himself. He is Russian so, yeah, he just may be a guy with means to do much. Still, he has that fat belly.
Must be pretty nice to get even half of that, after all, you do not really need to get together with all the people that you match with on Tinder.
Just before this we touched on how to select the right match for a meet. Should I sum this up for you? It is so easy. If you grew fat and wrinkly, just make the most of it to show matches that you are self-confident.
10. Fails to Avoid When Playing Tinder as a Married Partner
It is all good to feed you information on what to do as a married partner to get the most out of Tinder.
However, it is all useless if we do not tell you of the red flags to avoid when playing Tinder as a married person.
Knowing the good is smart, it is even smarter to know the pitfalls to avoid.
So, that being said, here are some fails that you must always
Observations on The Guardian tries to analyze the fails that the married should avoid when playing Tinder.
Therefore, the first mistake that he points out which should be avoided is not making an effort to go far with a match and assuming that they will just like you and be yours.
At the beginning of the first theme/sub-heading of this article, I gave some statistics that showed the number of users that are already taken on Tinder. It was 42%.
This being said, one cannot assume that a match will be faithful if at all they are interested in a new relationship but must make an effort of meeting them face to face and more.
This view is supported by an attack on the booty call phase that Tinder has taken over recent years as in the beginning it wasn’t always like that.
Another fail to avoid as a married person using Tinder is to not expect so much from the app.
Again, there are a lot of suspicions on cat-fishing being in existence at a rampant rate worldwide.
Even where one thinks that they have found a match that will last, they must keep on studying their intended future partner to keep in mind that they are not just being cat-fished.
This is especially applicable to the recent divorcees that desire a rekindle of love from the Tinder app.
I put them in bold, the fails, so that you can easily skim through them while playing Tinder as a married.
If you have paid attention to this article from the start, I have been trying to tell the married that they should not be too professional, too rich and successful and without a sense of humor.
Also, they should not expect too much from the matches so as to avoid frustration and disappointments.
You do not even have to be cool to use Tinder as a married person. Be open minded and allow the match to feel important.
Try to state clearly what you want from the beginning, is it love, quickies or a new spouse?
These help you make the most out of Tinder as a married person.
Oh, Удачи!(udachee) All the best of luck to you!