Craft a Tinder Profile She’ll Swipe Right On in 3 steps
So you want to create an irresistible Tinder profile, or up your profile game to get better results?
Maybe you’re wondering:
- What kind of Tinder profile pics are most effective?
- How many photos should I have on my profile?
- What makes women want to swipe right on a profile?
- Should I even bother writing a bio?
- What should go in my bio?
- How important is humor?
- How can I stand out from the crowd?
Well, there’s good news, and there’s bad news.
You’re probably already aware of the bad news: there’s a lot of competition out there. There are 57 million active Tinder users around the world, and more than half of those are other dudes.
The good news, though, is that the bar for men on Tinder is set so low, you’d think it was a limbo competition.
As a woman on Tinder, I’ve experienced this firsthand. My first week using the Tinder app, all of the following occurred:
- I received no less than 10 messages of two words or less, the most original of which was “Sup, Princess?”
- Eventually got a full sentence, but that sentence was: “You remind me of my sister.”
- I swiped left on a man holding an AK-47, a guy whose bio read simply “lonely and desperate,” and a dude eating a peach in a truly disturbing manner.
- I finally got into a fun, flirty exchange with a fellow only to learn, a few minutes in, that he was literally ON HIS WAY TO JAIL.
As the old adage goes: if you’re being chased by a lion, you don’t have to be faster than the lion. You just have to be faster than the next guy.
With very little effort, you can set yourself apart from the crowd and start garnering the kind of attention you’re looking for.
And I’m about to tell you how. Step by step.
In this article, you will learn:
- Who your target Tinder audience is (a.k.a. The Woman of Your Dreams).
- What your deal-breakers are and how to avoid them.
- How to take profile pics that will grab her attention without breaking the bank.
- How to write a bio that will surprise, delight, and intrigue her.
Step 1: Figure Out What You Want
It’s hard to hit a target when you have no idea what it looks like.
Look, the truth is: there is no such thing as the perfect Tinder profile.
Because–surprise!–different people have different tastes.
Before you can craft a Tinder profile to attract the kind of woman you’re looking for, you need to decide what kind of woman you’re looking for, and for what kind of relationship.
This probably sounds obvious, but you’d be amazed at how many men skip this vital step.
They don’t take the time to decide in advance if they’re just looking to get laid, or if they’re hoping to find someone who’s ready to commit.
They assume their tastes are universal, that every dude on Tinder is in competition for the same small pool of “hot” women.
Luckily for the future of humanity, that’s straight-up wrong.
What you find hot is, believe it or not, unique to you. And if you’ve never taken the time to think about what you find attractive in a woman, now’s your chance!
Sit down at your computer, or better yet, grab a notebook and a pen, and describe your ideal woman.
I call this exercise “calling in your order to the universe.”
As you do this, keep in mind:
- The universe doesn’t understand negatives. Only include what you want, not what you don’t want.
- Be honest. Describe what you truly want, not what you think you should want or what all your friends say they want (spoiler alert: they probably don’t really know what they want either). If you lie to yourself about what really does it for you, you’re gonna have a bad time.
- It helps to differentiate between must-haves and nice-to-haves.
- Go into as much detail as possible across all areas:
- Sense of humor
Really paint a detailed picture of this woman, just as if you’re conjuring her from the ether.
You have just defined your target audience.
Your profile doesn’t need to be perfect. It just needs to be perfect for her.
Once you’ve finished making your order, it’s time to set your standards.
Make a list of deal-breakers: things that you absolutely will NOT put up with.
Here are some common deal breakers by type of relationship to help get you started:
Now that you’ve defined both your target and your standards, you’re ready to start making a profile that will attract what you want and repel what you don’t.
Step 2: Take Your Pics
Or rather, get your pics taken.
If you’ve got nothing but selfies on your profile, you’re signaling to every woman who looks at it: PEOPLE DON’T WANT TO BE AROUND ME.
Unless your ideal woman is a hermit who is super into that lone wolf mystique, that’s unlikely to go over well.
That doesn’t mean you need to invest in a professional photoshoot. Unless you’re trying to hook a fashion model, in which case, yeah bruh, you might want to invest in that. Also a gym membership.
What you do need to do is grab a friend with a decent camera on his phone and a few hours to spare.
I say a few hours because the goal is to walk away with four different shots for your profile.
Although you can display up to six photos at any given time, four is the magic number because:
- It indicates that you are a real person with a real personality, not a catfishing phony using some random dude’s LinkedIn photo.
- It shows you put some effort into your profile… but not too much effort.
- It gives us a good sense of what you’re like.
- You can enable the Smart Photos feature with 3 or more pics.
And if you think 4 to 6 photos aren’t enough, you can link your Instagram account to your Tinder profile.
This is a great way to present your personality, interests, and activities to your potential matches.
How does Tinder Smart Photos Work?
Enabling Smart Photos allows Tinder to measure which photos are most likely to be swiped right on and features them for you.
“It’s pretty simple: it alternates the photo first seen by others when you’re shown on Tinder, notes each response as others swipe on you, and reorders your photos to show your best ones first.
To enable the Smart Photos feature:
- Tap the profile icon
- Tap the pencil icon or Edit Info
- Tap to move the Smart Photos slider to the right
You need to have uploaded at least 3 profile photos in order to enable Smart Photos.”
All four of your photos should be:
Women will assume you’re only as attractive as your least-attractive photo.
So make sure you’re looking good in every photo you plan to use on your profile.
Wear something you think you look great in. Show your best side.
If you’re making eye contact with the camera, smile.
Or give the camera a flirty, you-know-you-want-this smirk.
If you’re looking away, don’t smile, and definitely don’t make a flirty face.
The research is clear: men who are smiling or making flirty-faces away from the camera read as effeminate. Which is not, generally speaking, what straight women are looking for.
Make sure all your photos are an accurate representation of what you actually look like. Currently.
Ever had a date where, as soon as she walked in, it was painfully clear that all her profile photos were outdated or deliberately misleading? How’d that date go?
You don’t want to date someone who wants to date a person you no longer are or never were.
You want to date someone who wants to date YOU.
Save everyone involved a lot of time and heartache by posting pics that really look like you. Just as you are.
Otherwise, you might as well go full catfish and pull some B.S. like this:
In all seriousness though, being in any way untruthful, misleading, or gimmicky on your profile, ESPECIALLY in your pics, is self-defeating in the long term.
Even if you do manage to trick her into giving you what you think you want from her, payback is a bitch. Trust me on this one.
If a woman gets a mere whiff of deception, the comeuppance will be swift and brutal.
Meanwhile, nothing in the world compares to finding someone who genuinely appreciates you exactly as you are. Nothing.
Quality matters. If the lighting sucks or the pic is blurry, she’s gonna swipe left.
Bet you can tell the difference, right?
Who would swipe right if they see you in a picture with low quality? No one.
So make sure you present your self at your best.
Bottom line: she wants to know what you look like. So make sure you are the focal point of every shot.
The only thing worse than writing to a guy who turns out to be the guy next to the one you were actually interested in is finding out the girl you’re chatting with thinks your friend is hotter than you.
There are only two times it’s OK to share the spotlight.
1.Posing with a pet
2. Posing with a kid
Q: Is it a good idea to take a profile pic in which I am surrounded by attractive women?
A: I answer this in more depth in this article on Tinder Etiquette, but the short answer is: only if the women pictured look like they’re genuinely enjoying your company. Otherwise: abort mission.
Basically, if there’s any question as to who she should be looking at, chuck it!
Honestly, the worst blunder you can make on Tinder, aside from being creepy, is to be boring. Your photos are your first impression, so make sure you show some personality.
If your pic looks like a yearbook photo, she’s going to assume you’re equally unimaginative across all aspects of your life.
Instead, go for action shots. Show her how you like to spend your time, and more to the point, how you’d like to be spending your time with her.
Think about your ideal woman. What would she want to do with you? [ASIDE FROM THAT!]
The idea is to make it super easy to picture herself spending time with you. So picture yourself doing things you think she’d enjoy.
Looking for an active lady who loves the outdoors?
Hoping for a lass you can share a pint with?
Hoping to find a music lover who will cheer for you at open mic night?
Looking for a sexy geek girl who wants to do Cosplay with you?
Show your true colors. Let her know exactly what kind of adventure she’s in for when she signs on for a date with you.
Ideally, your photoshoot is an excuse to take yourself on four different first dates that your ideal woman would be sad to have missed out on.
Possibly the most important thing your profile photos need to do is to reassure your potential matches that you are not likely to cause her harm, either physically or psychologically.
If you’ve ever watched any sort of true-crime TV, or the news, or been on the internet, it should come as no surprise to you that men present a genuine danger to women.
No, not all men. Obviously. But enough of them that we are rightfully cautious about who we interact with.
It’s your job to reassure a potential match that you want to feed her, not eat her.
To that end, there are a few things you should definitely NOT include in your photos:
- Unless they’re very obviously fake or clearly for decorative purposes, they’re going to set off alarm bells in her head. Save your hunting prowess and ninja skills for a later date.
- Obscene gestures. Making lewd gestures or flipping off the camera may seem cool and edgy to you. It’s not. At best it indicates that you’re an immature douche, and at worst it implies that you’re aggressive and possibly dangerous.
- Too much skin. If you absolutely must show off your amazing abs, you may do so in one photo only, and it had better be situationally appropriate. An incidentally shirtless shot in which you’re playing shirts vs. skins football, for example. Otherwise, just no.
- Excessive alcohol or drugs. One playful party shot to show her you know how to have a good time is fine. But if every picture on your profile involves alcohol, she’s going to assume you’re an alcoholic. Likewise, if it’s important to you that your future wife be 420 friendly, by all means, include one pic of you partaking of the doob. But if you’re clearly high in every shot you put up, you’re gonna come off like an addict, bro. And do you really want to date a girl who wants to date a drug addict?
To sum it up, read the statistics below and see briefly what you shouldn’t include in your photos.
Step 3: Write a Bio That Won’t Bore Her
Serious question: do you know ANYONE who wants to spend their precious time with someone who bores them? If you stuck and have no idea what to write on Tinder Bio than you have to take your time and look some examples to get an idea for yours.
And yet, 99.9% of the Tinder profiles out there are painfully generic.
“I like good food, good music, and good times with good friends.”
WOW! I feel like I know so much about you already. Do we even need to go out?
If you expect your dream woman to take time out of her day to interact with you, you had better give her a compelling reason.
Show her your quirks. Make her smile. Intrigue her.
Here are some tried and true ways to do exactly that.
Having any bio is better than having no bio.
So don’t overthink it.
Just put yourself in the shoes of your ideal woman for a moment (don’t go for the pumps, though: they pinch).
If you were her, what would you find most interesting about you?
I’m guessing it’s not that you like tacos, work at a bank, and enjoy a good Netflix and chill.
Keep it simple, specific, and unique to you.
What are you proud of?
What makes you unusual?
What would someone never guess by looking at you?
The key is to focus on details that set you apart from the crowd.
Some tried and true techniques:
A few of my favorite things
Launch straight into a list of things you enjoy. No set-up is necessary.
Embrace your quirks and let your geek flag fly!
A list of what you’ve done most recently.
I’m the Only One
Set yourself apart from the crowd.
Flip the script
Put a new twist on an old cliche.
I’m good at
Highlight an ability you’re proud of.
By day vs. by night
Show your dynamism.
A cross between / a contradiction
Set yourself apart from yourself!
The Pac Man
A cute short-cut to show your preferences is to use the < symbol. Observe:
Try telling your favorite joke, or sharing a fun fact that blew your mind when you learned it. Keep it short, keep it cute.
Self-deprecating humor is especially disarming.
Bottom line: show us, rather than tell us, what it’s like to hang out with you.
This may come as a shock to you: but a favorite topic among women is… themselves.
Try talking directly to and about her in your profile by splitting your bio in two: about me, and about you.
Or skip you altogether and simply describe what you’re hoping to find.
Make a playful confession
Tell us a “secret” about yourself. Nothing dark or creepy, just something that might surprise us.
This could be a humblebrag about something silly, like an insignificant award you won as a kid. Like the fact that I was the hula hoop champion at my YMCA camp for 3 years running. My record was 5 hours and 32 minutes.
“I know all the lyrics to Total Eclipse of the Heart.”
Or it could be an admission of ineptitude or failure in an area nobody cares about or an embarrassing story about something non-traumatic.
“I am terrible at jumping rope. I always smack myself in the head.”
The idea is to show some vulnerability on a subject that isn’t really important. This lets us know you’re humble, funny, and authentic (but still an impressive dude).
You can also make the “confession” about something dating-related.
Express a “controversial” opinion
Like the “confession,” this should NOT be a genuinely controversial opinion, but simply a preference of yours that you express in a playfully inflammatory way.
“Sriracha is the best dipping sauce for french fries. Fight me.”
“Unpopular opinion: The Emperor’s New Groove is the best Disney movie ever made.”
Keep it playful, light, and silly.
If this needs to be said, steer clear of topics that might actually offend your ideal woman. I recommend the navy rules: no talk of politics, religion, race, or sex.
Start (but don’t finish) an intriguing story
Humans are naturally curious. They don’t like to be left hanging.
You can use this to your advantage by launching into a story but then telling her she’ll have to message you to hear the rest.
What if I told you, for example, that I was a one-hit-wonder who became an overnight celebrity in West Africa? Would you like to know more?
As always, avoid subject matter that could inadvertently paint you in an unflattering light. That time you set your sister’s hair on fire might make for a great story, but it won’t make the kind of impression you’re hoping for.
Make an obscure reference
Specifically, to something you absolutely love and which your ideal woman would absolutely love as well.
Maybe it’s a line from your favorite movie.
“You fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is ‘Never get involved in a land war in Asia,’ but only slightly less well known is this: ‘Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line.'”
Maybe it’s a song lyric from a little-known song or band you especially enjoy.
“I’m your only friend. I’m not your only friend, but I’m a little glowing friend. But really I’m not actually your friend, but I am.”
Whatever it is, just slap it on your bio with no explanation or attribution whatsoever.
One of three things will happen.
- She’ll ignore it. NBD.
- She’ll ask you about it. Instant conversation starter.
- She’ll recognize it and feel compelled to tell you what it’s from, tell you how she feels about it, or fill in the next line.
Put your assets out front
Make sure you’re using all of Tinder’s features to let the ladies know what’s awesome about you.
Do you have a sexy job, for example?
Here are the most right-swiped jobs for men in 2018, according to Business Insider:
- Interior Designer
- Physician’s Assistant
- PR / Communications
- Visual Designer
- College / Graduate Student
- Firefighter / Paramedic
- Founder / Entrepreneur
Now I don’t recommend you pretend to have one of these jobs if you don’t, of course. Your triumph will be short-lived and the payback will be a bitch if you do.
But if you happen to do one of these things for a living, or something close enough to it that you can use the name and get away with it, make sure you’re featuring it!
Did you go to a sexy school?
When Tinder released a list of most right-swiped schools on the Tinder blog, the results were surprising. The top four schools for dudes were all religious institutions: Georgetown University, followed by Brigham Young University, Notre Dame and Texas Christian University.
But any sort of college education puts you ahead of the pack, so be sure to mention your alma mater. Prestigious or otherwise.
To sum up, here are the most important aspects of making a good first impression with your Tinder profile:
- Attractiveness to your target audience. You’re not for everyone and that’s a good thing!
- If you’re not coming off as genuine, you’re dead in the water.
- Put your best features forward.
- Stand out from the crowd or get lost in the noise.
- Sense of humor. If you can make her laugh, you can make her breakfast.
Your profile is like your storefront window. You need to make sure you’re putting your best stuff up there, or nobody is going to bother coming inside to take a second glance.